SUPER HAPPY CRAZY GIRL
Mood: Happy
MSN Name: One more week til vacating from nothing

So, the Flames lost. Life goes on, I suppose.

I'm back at home, thinking about life and all sorts of things that I tend to do while I'm at home. Convocation got me thinking about lots of things too. I'm now unemployed with a B.A., shocking, isn't it? Bet you've never heard anyone in THAT situation before. The valedictorian was talking about how our families supported us through our careers at McGill and how we should all be very very thankful to them, for without them, we would not have made it through. It came from a very waspy upper middle class perspective where all parents pay for our educations and help us become our own people. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty much one of those people, and I am very thankful, but I was annoyed because he was being a dickish one and assuming we all came from that situation, when many of us did not, in fact, get much parental support. That morning, I was sitting here listening to him, without, in fact, knowing if my parents were in the audience, because they were running over an hour late for getting to Montreal, the morning I graduated. Many of my friends had parents in town for days ahead of time, so I was mildly irked.

I, however, tried to look on the bright side, and realized that it was my family that carried me through, in the form of fantastic friends that I will never forget, and hopefully, will never underappreciate. McGill taught me a lot, no doubt. SACOMSS and QM, with large IRSAM and UGE support (we like our acronyms, apparantly) helped me through four years of what would otherwise have been disasterous, difficult as hell, and very lonely. I'm so thankful to you all, and never forget that you were such important roles in so many people's lives. There were dozens of people I barely knew that I knew I could count on if I needed to talk to someone, and many great friends that were repeatedly there for me when I made bad choices, and when I really wasn't so worth knowing or putting effort into. The people that will watch you screw up over and over again and continue supporting you are the people that really matter so much. I can't even believe it, and I definitely took it for granted, despite the amount that I constantly felt blessed to have such a wonderful community. I learned what it means to be sensitive to certain issues, and had the opportunity to have great people around me that would call me on it when I was being insensitive or stupid. I'll never forget that, and I know why people say that University is the best time in your life.

That being said, getting out of this wonderous support network and being dropped on my ass and needing to move on to other times, making new friends here, and creating a new community is a daunting task. How would I find people to be half as great as even one of the people I knew at McGill? It's a scary thought. I'm trying to be happy here, and not depend too much on Montreal folk, yet at the same time not pushing them away. It's a strange thing to balance, and I haven't been doing so well.

However, my birthday is fast approaching, and I have a plan. Get out of the city, visit fantastic people, and have a blast for a couple weeks as a birthday present to me! I pretty much have talked my parents into letting me do this, therefore getting funding. I have a place to stay, and I am psyched! If all goes according to plan, I will not be in the city from next Wednesday onwards, for a couple weeks or so (details are to be hammered out still). YAY!!!

So, moral of the story, I grew a lot, and learned a lot, and fell a lot, and picked myself up (with great amounts of help when necessary) a lot, able to have a great foundation for my future attempts. I also found myself very proud of the people I know, because I know that they were so strong individually it amazed me, but now we can all spread out across the globe and send that love to others. It's such a cheesy-ass Pay It Forward mentality, but that's how I'm thinking right now. We're gonna make the world a better place, just by spreading the goodness around, and that gives me hope and confidence that somehow makes me realize that it's all gonna be okay. :D

IN WAIT
Mood: Down
MSN Name: Go Flames!

Stanley Cup Final game 7 tonight, winner take all. It's so definitely one to watch.

For someone who doesn't leave the house too much, I'm always managing to be absent at just the time I so desperately want to be home. Waiting for Godot, or a phone call, sucks miserably, especially when you suspect it's not gonna come. Crappity crap crap, I'm a loser baby, why don't you kill me? Not really, I just feel raaaaaaather pathetic, for obvious reasons. Sorry all (aka whoever actually reads this) Pasha's post just made me think too much at the wrong moment. For someone who didn't want to end this year in a long distance relationship, I've certainly gotten myself into a nice pickle anyways. Oh well, long live the Queen.

I'm happy to be back in ParentLand in some ways, and really not in others. I miss all my friends from HappyBlissLand but the large amount of coupleage was also getting to me. I miss people. Some are visiting for pride, and I just scored myself a place to stay downtown so to minimize the parental questions about why I happen to go there every year at a certain time. *sigh*

Anyways, to all those from HappyBlissLand full o' queers and irsammers, I love you dearly, and miss you lots.

Go watch the game and down a few, I know I will. :D

AT 8 PM TONIGHT
Mood: Happy
MSN Name: Go Flames!

It's the game where Calgary will win it tonight. At 8. I'm not sure if I can still be friends with those who don't watch the game. :D

Oh yeah, also, I'm back in Toronto region and waiting to hear from you. Packing's going well, hee hee, packing.